You didn't tell me you were ill

Do not use this medication if:-

1. You suffer from a wonky gyroscope.
2. Your nocturnal menagerie is coeval with a gaucho.
3. Time eddies your sole sandwich.
4. You have been lucubrating Layamon's Brut.
5. The missionary position has let you down three times in a month.
6. You have incurred a punctured rodomontade.
7. Wise men have soiled your virgin mind.
8. Everybody you know wears Converse trainers.
9. You have a drawerfull of rampant philately.
10. Sal Coaxial has your number.
11. Monkeys dethroat your penumbrae.
12. A wall is a challenge to you.
13. Traffic tantalises the nation you love with excess.
14. Fulfilled quests breach your lucky pelt.
15. Solipsism is a word you use in conversation.
16. You are allergic to dice. You never wanted to be but you are, your mouth goes dry, you swoon, your feet are bound to leave the floor, and you will exact the final disaster of the cummerbund.
17. Twisted shinbones exact their revenge on you perniciously.
18. Your genitals are less than 90%.
19. Soup is your secret location.
20. No no no you must not preamble.
21. Oh your intake of bowly porridge has forced you to resign.

Or the possible side effects could be:-

1. Islanders will enact gleeful deposits spitefully ha.
2. Chiasmi.
3. Lawn vestiges will triple in value.
4. You know that old guy who sings tra-la-la? Well he'll fuckin find you and merge you with the pavement, you know? You don't wanna mess with this kinda shit Benno, you dig? Look, don't give me no shit, it's my fuckin neck on the line too. You and your fuckin swamp dreams didn't get you nowhere yeah? Just listen to me you cocky little cunt or I'll fuckin powder you into perineum myself, okay?
5. Every friend you've ever had will appear in a room with you at once, and attack!
6. Sausages will have their day in the sun.
7. Correlations will occur concurrently with callous cacchinations of calumnious cohorts like in oh calcutta or kid kakuro or chevy chase.
8. Your own personal-tsu-nami.
9. Stringencies at the bank mean they will have to let you go.
10. Sal Coaxial will lose your number, but it will end up in the hands of Cab Coaxial, his dimyarian older brother.
11. It's Pallas Athene time! It's Pallas Athene time! Yip yap, shut your trap, it's Pallas Athene time!
12. Fabric will twill willy-nilly, swilling really the cognoscenti on trysts to Scilly.
13. Jumbo jets will fly right up your drooping arse, along your delicate, beautiful and most interesting alimentary canal, walled with most delightfully chosen images and tasteful patterns, and then right out your gaping facking gob.
14. Your wellmeant attentions to Lord Bianco will redound.
15. Shoulders will disappear from the earth FOREVER!
16. The social roles and reception of classical and pop music will reverse! Simone Deathrattle on TOTPs, Christian Aquavitae at the Proms. The lambada.
17. Parumph!
18. Twenty diurnal mictural vacations will ignite urethrae far and wide.
19. Your whole life was a search for meaning, and in the end you realised the meaning was the searching. And you felt cheated.