Top Sites to Visit in London Part 1

THE SHADOW STAGE

Relax and plump in dermatological luxury at this hyperplebeian tropicalia. Troilism is perplexed here by sybaritic ennui, and daily there is a cachou fitched by one at least of the beautiful Camden mermen. Volatile hobo-chicanery would never dissuade the ambulant stroppers from the vexations of their monoglot stereotonic enquiries, and thank the lord for that. If there is one downside to l'espace du nuit, it's that harps are banned on saints' days, a penurious censuring inflicted due to the once incessant yabbering of fusty termagants who, riddled with hermeneutic desires by the fingering priests, loosened their lips towards too often too often.

THE ALEATORY TAVERN

The mercantile tribe of Sligo men who derivated this cumulative lair in East-South London, blamed forever the vicissitudes of the corruscating horizontal foundations for its murky yet charming duplicity. I, in review, could not be teased into commentary. I have slipped more than enough into the type of cliché that justly enrages the insouciant local fletchers, and so cannot be drawn. Located away from the main thoroughfare of the borough, the tavern is only approachable via a deniable passageway that acts as veritable alembic for the surprising cognoscenti. At the alignment of ley lines, Perkin Warbeck was chased by three nuns and a castrato hitherwards, and the subsequent stane stain has sustained substantially and satisfactorily. A moderate pawpaw grower would be most unlikely to swivel his delights in the slightest, but to all who elide kites by derision, the hoopla would be sufferable, be sufferable.

TO BE CONTINUED...